“…There is no mountain you can’t face
There is no giant you can’t take
All of your tears were not a waste
You’re one step away…” Danny Gokey
We listen to a good deal of Contemporary Christian music. There are other tastes among us, but often, especially in the car – we listen to this. It’s been a few years since we’ve had a church where we all felt comfortable and at home, although we possess strong, deeply rooted faith. This music helps keep us focused when things can otherwise seem blurry.
This particular song surfaced a few weeks ago. Meghan was battling to make a comeback from knee surgery 7, and seven was NOT a lucky number.
When you’ve been through the operating room 18 times and it’s still a week before your 14th birthday – you can call yourself somewhat of a professional at recovery.
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We left the hospital with our list of directions. We went to the surgical follow-up. We scheduled PT. We even held an extra week before restarting swim. There were crutches for a very long time – used responsibly. So, when she had done everything right, and her body decided to push back – hard, she was understandably angry and very frustrated.
No one really had a solid explanation for the fluid that overtook that knee almost 5 weeks post operatively. But, there never really is a solid explanation. I’d like to say we’re used to it. But, I don’t like to lie.
There were more crutches, and more PT with the BEST PT in the whole wide world. (We LOVE Dr. Jill – because she works on the WHOLE kid. She gets that they are more than the body part giving them trouble. I know of NONE quite like her.) There was increase in strength and range of motion. There was a return to (half) swim practices.
There has been diligent icing after swim. There has been stretching and strengthening because, quite frankly, she WANTS to feel better.
We joked around during the month of June, how nice it would be if we could make July a “doctor- free” month. We longingly imagine the same scenario every year. What if summer could be time to relax? What if we could take day trips? What if we could come and go, and rejuvenate?
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I just counted 20 medical appointments between us over the last 31 days. There are 2 more tomorrow.
Chronic illness is a real drag at any age. When it happens to a child or a teen it makes everything that is already hard about growing up – even more of a challenge.
When you are in an almost constant state of recovery, you can find yourself tired. Fighting so hard just to get back to where you were can make you feel like a hamster stuck in a wheel.
Chronic illness, constant pain, surgical recovery, ongoing surveillance, and all the other “fun” things that accompany Cowden’s Syndrome – or any other “it’s sticking around FOREVER” illness can leave you wiped out.
It’s hard to build relationships, friendships, or even a social group when you aren’t able to do so many of the things people take for granted every day. There are days you quite simply run out of “spoons.”
https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
But, in life there are more times than not that we have choices. I try to model for my daughter, but so often she models for me. You can choose to sit alone. You can choose to let pain, fear, anxiety and frustration take hold. You can choose to be sad. You can choose to be mad. Or you can realize that life is hard. Everyone’s life is hard. Life is also full of blessings.
When you realize that this is your life, and you decide you’re going to make the best of it- that’s when you dig in. You climb up that mountain, one step at a time…
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I admire many things about my daughter. She is not perfect – neither am I. But in her soul, there is a “Never Give Up” attitude that permeates all things. There is a constant quest for equity and justice, not just for her, but for all she interfaces with. There is a compassionate need to help others. There is a desire to be successful in spite of her circumstances – not because of them.
She always says she loves to swim because regardless – she has to meet the same time standards as everyone else. Somehow it makes each comeback a little sweeter.
No one else would likely know, or realize, or remember. But, we know.
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First year on the high school team. The season starts right after school. She’ll be ready.
That’s why we will always remain
#beatingcowdens
“…There is no mountain you can’t face
There is no giant you can’t take
All of your tears were not a waste
You’re one step away…” Danny Gokey
This video is worth your time…
Danny Gokey – The Comeback
After a season of nightfalls and pushbacks
After the heartache of wrong turns and sidetracks
Just when they think they’ve got you game, set, match
Here comes the comeback
Just cause you laid low, got up slow, unsteady
Don’t mean you blacked out or bought out you’re ready
Just when they think there’s nothing left running on empty
Here comes the comeback
(chorus)
This is your time, your moment
The fire, the fight, you’re golden
You’ve come so far keep going
Here comes the comeback, comeback
You feel the lightning, the thunder, your soul shakes
Under the roar of the heaven, the tide breaks
And from the ashes you will take your place
Here comes the comeback
(chorus)
This is your time, your moment
The fire, the fight, you’re golden
You’ve come so far keep going
Here comes the comeback, comeback
There is no mountain you can’t face
There is no giant you can’t take
All of your tears were not a waste
You’re one step away
Just when they think they’ve got you game, set, match
Here comes the comeback
(chorus)
This is your time, your moment
The fire, the fight, you’re golden
You’ve come so far keep going
Here comes the comeback, comeback
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
