This is the day when we often sit and think about sad things. It is a day we often reflect on all the reasons we can’t wait to be done with the current year, wishing better for all in the next. I have not blogged much this year. Mostly because I don’t like to write when I am in a negative headspace. You can infer from that whatever you’d like…
So as I sat down to wish away 2021, I remembered many years ago when Meghan and I used to practice ‘flip it.’ And while sometimes, yes, it was a matter of literally flipping things “the bird,” often it was a lengthy conversation about how we can take the unfortunate circumstance and flip it to our benefit, at least mentally.
This is a careful process because we abhor toxic positivity. Some things just stink. The end. Little is more frustrating than dealing with another appointment, injury, procedure, test, and so on while having someone tell you to look on the “bright side.” However, we have found through years of digging reflectively that life can hold “parallel truths.” This was easier for us to process. The truth that upsetting and sometimes painful or tragic circumstances exist and need validation can be accompanied by other things happening simultaneously that are full of blessings.
2021 for us was definitely a year of Parallel Truths. While covid changed, abbreviated, or eliminated so many things, we grew. We grew as a family and individually. We grew in our faith. We grew in our resilience. We grew in our convictions, and most importantly our love and respect for each other. While I can say I wish the pandemic had never been, I can also say that God was active and at work in our lives this whole year. Parallel Truths.
January brought us on a cross-country road trip. Meghan and I traveled to Indiana so she could finally be paired with Ella, her long-awaited service dog. It was hours in the car, time to talk about all things and just be together. The drive was incredibly long. Yet, we shared laughs that were also endless.
In February, while still holed up at home, with no indication of when the in-person senior year would begin again, my girl finalized her college commitment.
March brought Covid right into our house and knocked out Felix harder than any of us had dared to imagine it could. The “healthy” one was out of commission for a solid month, with 6 of those “covid pneumonia” days being in the hospital on oxygen.
When he was well enough, he began to learn his “Cricut” machine and slowed himself down. My OCD had me throw away our mattress (yes I KNOW it was irrational) and kept us as a party of three for Easter Sunday in April.
In May, during a year of teaching remote 4th grade, for more hours a day than I even like to recall, the most delightful surprise came to my front lawn from families that made every hour of that school year worth it. I have never in my almost 25 years worked harder. And I have never been so appreciated by a group of students and families. Again. Parallel Truths. As much as I missed my own family during those long days and nights, those 29 faces will be a part of my soul forever. We lived through it… together.
May also took our beloved April dog, our rescue of 6 years from us quite suddenly. April was the girl who kept Lucky going after her “sister” Allie died in 2014. April was the sweetest. Our “vanilla.”
And May, as things began to slowly open brought joy as well. Meghan, who had through circumstances simply beyond her control, been without a church for quite some time, found her way to the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, the church of my childhood, and of her baptism. She connected with Uncle Eric, a Pastor at the time at Good Shepherd Lutheran in Plainview, and spent a year of Confirmation classes on Zoom to receive her Confirmation in May. It was a culmination of so much, and an absolute intentional public confirmation of her baptism. It was something she so badly wanted to have done before college. Humble gratitude.
June brought graduation that was in person, from the stands on her school’s football field. I was ecstatic that there was an in-person celebration at all, and even more thrilled to have the early session on a hot June day.
July brought us to Disney and proved to Meghan and Ella that they make a heck of a team. We were impressed time and time again by them, further reinforcing that it had been worth the wait.
August was full of packing and preparing. Anxiety and uncertainty were palpable. Yet – they were ready. My full Mommy emotions are in this post. “Beating Cowden’s Goes to College” https://beatingcowdens.com/2021/08/25/beatingcowdens-goes-to-college/
A mother/daughter tattoo of the ASL “I love you” sign that we have shared since the kindergarten bus got us a little extra ready, and then she was off.
September and October mashed together as we all settled into our new routines. There were some poignant goodbyes as she shed some of the weight of many years of being on the “outside” of life. There were some amazing “hellos” as friendships began to form, trusts began to build, and laughter could once again be heard. Fall break was at just the right time, to nourish her belly and our hearts. Fall swim left us able to watch live competition for the first time in ages.
November brought a dear sweet Cowden’s sister and her husband to dinner with Felix and me.
It also brought Meghan and a lovely Canadian friend home to spend Thanksgiving making their way through NYC.
Facetime conversations at college often looked like this.
Christmas magic brought her home for only a short time, as winter training is a real part of swimming. And between the lights and the magic and the peace of being just far enough away from home, Meghan and Nate found each other this fall, and a smile I have not seen on my girl’s face for 10 years has returned.
2021 had its downs. There were plenty. I don’t take pictures of them. My sister and her family were called to a church across the country, and on a short amount of notice, they packed their lives to once again be a plane ride away. I miss them.
There were medical appointments, and even an ER visit last week. There is a chronic foot injury that has been relentless and unforgiving. There are plenty of things that were lost, interrupted, and abbreviated.
Yet, I have to focus today on the parallel truths. In our house, there were real and important blessings this year. Maybe because we finally had to sit still long enough to appreciate them? I’m not sure. As the days and years go by I am reminded almost daily that there is no promise of tomorrow on this earth.
As I head out every day I do my best to follow Grandma’s rules:
“Before you speak, think. Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? If not, just KEEP STILL.”
This world is on its ear. All I can do is practice the same grace given to me daily.
And today that grace came in the form of a 14-month-old coonhound mix who we named “Buddy.” He was rescued from a local organization a few hours ago and has already brought us all joy.
Blessings to all for a beautiful 2022!
#beatingcowdens